Why me, Lord?

person holding coins

“And they prayed and said, “You, Lord, who know the hearts of all, show which one of these two you have chosen.” 

Acts 1:24

 

I sat in church this morning and listened as our pastor shared the Missions of Hope International (MOHI) vision for sponsoring a child. I saw the pictures of families living in poverty and hungering for a better life, a life of hope. And I hurt. My soul cried out, why me, Lord? Why was I chosen to live a life of choice and not others? So I went home and started reading God’s Word to try to make some sense of how I could be so blessed. I want to share my thoughts with you, my cry to God.

“Father God, I am not worthy of all that You have done for me. I see people all around me struggling and I think, “Why me, Lord?” Why was I chosen to live in America where we have the choice for wealth, freedom, and the chance for warm homes in the cold winters and cool homes in the hot summers. Why do I have food on my table while others go hungry? Why do I have the freedom to worship and sing your praises while others have to hide or risk death for loving You in public. There are so many more righteous than I who hurt every day. They live in poverty and fear and yet, I have been saved from both. 

Lord, I owe You my life. I will never be worthy of all that You have done for me. What can I do to show You that I do not take your blessings for granted. What can I do to prove that I know where You brought me from, a life that Satan meant to destroy me. Abused as a child, foolish as an adult, yet You chose me to be your adopted child. Why me, Lord? How can I show you that I do not take this lightly? God, I am nothing without Your Holy Spirit living in me. Use me, Father God, not for being able to say I am used by God, but to enter into your work in this world. Show me where You are, Lord, and open the doors for me to join You. 

Use all of me, Lord. I want to see others through Your eyes. I want to walk as You walked, Jesus. Fill me Holy Spirit. Fill me to overflowing with the Breath of Heaven.”

I am chosen by God to live the life I am living. He alone made that choice and I humbly submit to Him all my desires.